K to the F
I am the magical junk mail fairy! I will grant you any superpower of your choosing, under the condition that I get your soul! I will also accept someone elses soul, the sole of your shoe, seoul South Korea, just about anything that starts with an 's' and doesn't end with 'it'.
Dear KFK,
You were a popular (loose meaning of the word) martial arts actor (again), so what made you get into the coffee and wacky tobaccy business? Shouldn't you be doing infomercials about excersize machines??
Hi Karl!
I love you as I love cheese on a toast. But I have
one question:
Did you ever had your own cartoon, where you was the hero,
had a gang of teenager helpers, fought the communism and
gived advice about crack and kicking people in the face?
Recently I have been playing the lottery a lot. It's
been pretty fun thinking about all the stuff I could
buy if I won, but I never do! I've tried everything I
can think of to put the odds in my favor (besides
buying more tickets. I don't want people thinking I'm
an addict), but nothing seems to work. I was wondering
if you had any pointers on what I could do to tip the
scales. Also, if you know anybody at the lottery put
in a good word for me. I think I would make a great
millionaire. You know, the kind that's generous yet
with just a touch of kooky craziness to make people
laugh and feel good about other people having way more
money than them. Well, there's another drawing
tonight, so cross your fingers for me, cause if I win,
we're getting trashed!
Dear KFK,
My girlfriend totally digs penguins so I printed her out a picture of your
ultimate penguin and gave it to her for valentine's day. She loved it so much, she
gave me a big kiss (among other things). So, I saw her today and she is getting
all obsessive about that picture. She is even trying to find a real penguin like
it. How can I get her attention away from it and back on to me?
-Larry