Little article on the idiocy of Cable Television Advertisement.....has a little send off to College University in it so i figured i would post it (after writing it two years ago.)

Yeah....im really late at these things.

Amongst the overflowing amount of Blink-182 videos that never seem to
go away, and the reruns of Growing Pains.....with that lovable chump turned
Fundamentalist Christian Kirk Cameron. I noticed something on the Godbox
yesterday. Cox Cable, the local conglomerate on all things digital
entertainment in our area (and when i say our area, i mean Jupiter....just
north of that flaming ball of hellfire), was showing commericals for its basic
cable service. Now correct me if im wrong, but if you are the only cable
company in the area and you are advertising your basic cable service on the
only basic cable service in the area, then what possible difference, or for
that matter profit, would you make by placing these spots on television.
Granted im not too worried about missing the preview commericials for "Who
wants to live on the Real-Survivor-Idol Millionare Island Dance and Chili
Cook-Off" or the newest line of products from The Gap, but i honestly dont
understand the thought process the executives went through to get these
commercials on air. If i did understand it, it would probably go a litlle
something like this:

[exec walks into room, straightens tie, sits down at top position of table]

Executive Head: "Good Morning Gentlemen. I trust this meeting will be short?"

[two lower level executives, obviously crying inside from the
pathetic bastardazation of all things sacred and holy in their
lives, clear their throats and begin their presentation]

Lackey Number One: "Yes, Sir. Very short. We are going to present an idea to
you for the commercial to fill the 30 seconds right before "The Spanking
New Adventures of Donkey Kong and Miles Davis (sponsored by MTV and Clorox
Bleach)"

Lackey Numero Dos: "Sir we have an absolutly outstanding idea for this
spot! Picture This: A commercial on both our Basic and Digital streams,
advertising our Basic and Digital Streams!

[The head executive holds his open hand up, as to gesture a stop from
the moron lower level executive from speaking out of his mouth-hole]

Executive Head: "You want to run an ad on Basic Cable, for Basic Cable?"

Lackey First One: "Yes, Sir. That is the plan."

[as if waiting for the head to go greco-roman and raise his thumb in
approval or lower it in utter dismay of the very notion that they
could pass a green light for something so incredibly idiotic....
the lackeys wait for what feel like 4 minutes....but is really
only 3.925 minutes]

Executive Head of Retards: "Thats absolutly brilliant Steve!!!"

Retard Number One: "Thank you!, and my name is Paul sir..."

Executive dead by five-thirty: "Thats what i said.....Steve...."

Number One guy man: "....yes sir...."

Executive nicknackpattywackgivadogabone: "the project is green-lighted, bring a
rough draft back to me when im not drunk!"

[lackey/moron/giraffes walk out of boardroom in a stupor, surprised
that something so meaningless was actually good for launch....]

/end pathetic excuse for a skit youll never see on the Kids in The Hall, or
performed by the West Chester, Pennslyvania comedy skit troup: Chester Nut Bars
on Parade (featuring Weird Al and the 1991 Denver Broncos!) But Since i dont
know what they were thinking.....i can only begin to think that the Higher ups
had one of five things on their minds:

A: Make the Commerical and put it on every thirty seconds that the
Season Finale of Will and Grace isnt on.

B: Show it to some girl scouts in the hopes that they and their
families would get free cookies/sexual favors

C: Take the hard copy betamax tape of the Commercial and sacrifice
it to the devil of all things decent and entertaining on television
(read: the same devil that let Pauly Shore do "Jury Duty")

D: Mix the Commerical with some Mayonaise and Bread (white because
all bread companies are racist) and make a nice Crap Sandwich

E: Frank Zappa

Again, only God and the Denver Broncos will ever really know the truth as
to the decision that was made to put this commerical on air and rot away all
other neuro-pathways inside my cerebral cortex. Hopefully, They will share with
me and all the other white bread loving americans when we all die from the
ebola virus....

Right now, a necrofiliac is having his way with Christopher Reeves
corpse....and theres nothing you, the government, or Incubus can do
about it...

Hows THAT for a curveball...

Running out of time to look for the Holy Grail/Jebus H. McCullock
Pinion_Blue
Moderator at qcf.ca

...i lost interest a ways into it. ill try again later.

Please summarize into 7 words.


_________________
Bigger Than Big, Stronger Than Strong

7 words?

Cable Companies Bad, Aint It The Truth.

saucy


_________________
Lifes a garden, so dig it.

So wait.. the cop had an affair with the bakers wife but only AFTER the baker killed the cops sister?

Interesting..

sorry when I get bored I make up my own storys.


_________________

tat6789 wrote:

i gave this job to Team because I know he doesn't have a soul.