One of my favorite things to do that automatically propells me into the level of the atmosphere known as the loser layer, is to get stoned and quote my favorite Simpsons episodes or any other good TV show or movie with my friends. So go nuts, ground rules: no crap, don't go quoting shitty ass sitcoms or boring pathetic movies, I hope that Team will back me up, severe penalties for those who post unfunny crap! Say who said it and what show it was on, perhaps even the episode.

Unshrink you? Well that would require some sort of a Rebigulator which is a concept so ridiculous it makes me want to laugh out loud and chortle... but aaahh, but not at you O holiest of Gods with the wrathfulness and the vengeance and the bloodrain and the 'hey hey hey it hurts me'.

-Professor Frink, treehouse of horrors where Lisa creates life with cola and her tooth.


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Discoballs wrote:

One of my favorite things to do that automatically propells me into the level of the atmosphere known as the loser layer, is to get stoned

Oh yeah, you got that right pal.

Harvey Birdman: Debbie, we're going to need some law books. With pictures this time.


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Bigger Than Big, Stronger Than Strong

A personal favourite Simpson's quote

Hutz: Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I - uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.

Marge: Is that bad?

Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog.

Marge: You did?

Hutz: Actually, replace `accidently' with `repeatedly', and replace `dog' with `son'.

Makes me laugh everytime, can't remember the episode though, i think it's the one where Marge accidently steals from the Kwik-E-Mart and ends up in jail.

I think it's the one where Homer sues the frying Dutchmen for not being able to get "All he could eat".

Marge is it true that one time Homer consumed a ten pound bag of flour when there was no other food in the house?
Blue haired lawyer guy, from the same episode (I think).


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"Mom dad! Bart and stampy are gone!"

"What he took bart too!? That wasn't part of the deal black heart! That wasn't part!!!!!!!!!!!"


And I could watch this next segment over and over and over

Lisa: Hey Dad, I think state and federal laws require us to have a babysitter.

Homer: Oh, Lisa. Haven't you seen "Home Alone"? If some burglars come, it'll be a very humorous and entertaining situation.

Bart: You're absolutely right, Homer. We don't need a babysitter!

Homer: Wait a second... [Pulls a paper from his pocket: "Always do the opposite of what Bart says"] Hmm...you kids _do_ need a babysitter!

Bart: Blast that infernal card! [to Homer] _Don't_ give that card to me.

Homer: Here you g -- [pulls back] No!


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tat6789 wrote:

i gave this job to Team because I know he doesn't have a soul.

The time is now we have the technology, America will blow up the moon.
Mr. Show with Bob and David. The episode where America blows up the moon.


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"I got it from the little shop over the...(looks in astonashment because instead of seeing the shop he sees swirling sand) oh it was over there."- homer
"I once picked my nose till it bleed"- ralph
"it's like watching a cartoon version of myself"-homer
Bart! you're not at school. don't swear."-homer
"scum, feeze-bag"-clancy wiggum
"whoa! what am I smoking? oh yeah, pot"auto
"this is what happens when I go for six hours without sleep."-homer
"and that talking coyote was just a talking dog"-homer
"dad, I was so depressed, I forgot to study and got an f on my test. can you sign it?"-bart "this test was taken last week"-homer
"well, there's not shame in being beaten by the best"-carnie guy "but dad, he didn't seem all that great"-his son
"man, it's going to take a lot of fire works to clean this up"-homer
"lisa, there comes a time in every father's life when he has to blow up his daughter's room"-homer
"watch, he's about to do somthing stupid"-lenny
"ow! my eye! i'm not supposed to get pudding in it."-lenny
"ah, I've re-dork-ulated"
"No, eat MY dust misses S"- auto
"I work hard at my job...(looks at beeper) what's an "elt down?""-homer
(a after a fire drill) "I'm the first one out, mr burns. What do I win?"-homer
"I know I don't pray much, but if you're out there, please save us superman!"-homer
"ha-ha bart's mom changed"-nelson
"This isn't about the snake farm is it? I can explain I'm giong to breed and sell snakes"-homer
"looks like she caught her own criminal, unlike the rest of you lazzy bums"- chief wiggm"
"I got to check the answereing mcachine. (272 messages) aww, why cant anyone takre the law into their own hands?"- chief wiggm
"well I guess I'll just have to take the law into my own hands"-homer
"yeah, lots of poeple are doing that now-a-days"-chief wiggum
"I'm not saying I have all the answeres, but I do have all the answere keys"-nelson 4 president
"I have a song too 'I am iron man do-do-dood-do-do- vote for me!!"-nelson for presitent
"I'm jellous of girls because they get to wear dresses"-Rod
"what now? Homer bowled a perfect game?"-grampa
"that happend half a year ago"-marge
"it's even more wonderful than lisa said"-homer talking about a steak house
"I'll tell you about the time my baby shot my boss."-homer
"why, even god himself endores wacking day"-reverend love joy
"I thought you saw everything"-homer to god
"no, you're thinking of santa"-god
"We have a special bond, even greater than her bond with the duck shaped wash cloth"-moe
"He can't be the hulk. I'm the hulk!!! ARHHHH!!!"-stan lee
"well the wheel fell off my chair yestre day, but I didn't write a movie about it."-homer
"my son's faith in his hero has been srush. This should be the greatest day of my life"-Homer
"ohh that's one mug you don't want to jug!"-duffman
"your situation isn't as bad as it seems talk to the girl and you will realize that you have nothing in common"-napkin at moe's tavern
"why can't I find Amand Huggandkiss??"-moe
"krusty o's now with a jagged meteal o"-bart's favorite cereal
"now to prove my cereal isn't dangorous, I will eat a metat O. ahhhh!!"-krusty "krusty, that's a regular o"-some guy
"I didn't do it"-bart's catch phrase
"have you been drinking??"
"only for about twenty five years"-homer
"ohh! a penny!!!"-homer
"you're right moe... you're always moe"-homer
"I peed my pants"-recording of homer's voice
"I told you that was for personal use"-homer
"I don't remember being in any comercals"-bart while eating butterfinger
"let's go crazy, broadway stle"-milhouse
"here's a cartoon that tries to make learing fun. bare with me kids I've got some realy cool comercials after this"-Krusty
"Congraduations, little gril, you've just saved Itchy and Scrtchy. now sign this flyer indicating you have not save itchy and Scratchy"
"I want to do everything on this box. I want to shoot a lion in the face dance with happy zebras..."-homer
"for richer for poor poor is under lined"-Homer's wedding vows
"I punched mr burns right in his 104 year old mouth"-Homer
"When I die, I wnt to be stuffed and put on the couch"-Homer
"Hey! he's not fun. he's fat!"-milhouse
I'm a library of simpsons quotes "notice that I no longer call it a lie bary or hallopino"-homer
"I'm drunk!"-homer
"you stay out of this, old man"-homer
"I think i see lisa, but it might be a starfish.."-homer
"I can suck up to him, the way religous poeple suck up to god"-bart
"why, even god himself endorses wacking day"- lovejoy
"you don't understand boys. he's stupid"-homer
"bart, I told you to stop knawing on the walls.."-marge
"shut up; you missing the jokes"-homer
"I never noticed it before, but some itchy and scratchy cartoons actraly imply that violence to anamals is funny"
"a-cross-walk, a-crossin' a-wlak.."-a school assembly (family guy)
"here's a cartoon that tries to make learning fun! bare with me now; I hve some realy cool toy comercialy comming up, I swear!"-krusty the clown
"you can't spell party without arty, unless you misspell party.. or arty.."arty zif
"they even repossesed my repo trucks!"-arty zif
"disco stu should have disco ducked!"- disco stu
"I'm sure he's as good as doctor hibert; it says so in his ad"-lisa
"imancipated! don't you like being a dude?"-homer
"realy? you like scateboards?"-homer
"but homer, you don't smoke"-marge"shh.. I want her to think I'm cool.."-homer
"look! I'm surfin' the web!"-homer
"It gave me a good, warm feeling, like when you get drunk and fall asleep in the snow.."-moe
"moe! moe! moe! how do you like me? how do you like me? moe! Moe! Moe! nobody likes me why don't you like me?-moe's song
"all my years of playing tetris will finaly pay off!'-homer
"soon, you will obtain a mighty hump"- mr. burns
"I'm smarter than the devil!"- homer
"mm.. forbiden dounut.."-homer
"remember, don't trust anyone over thrity"-homer
"ow.. my eye, I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!"-lenny
"what are you doing man? that's carl!"-montgomery
"if bart can be el barto, I can be el homo"-homer
"we're here, we're queer, get used to it!"-the gay pride parade
"you do this every year; we are used to it"-lisa
"are you hurt?"-bart
"just my bones.. and organs.."-homer
"I've been tenderized.."-homer
"one two, better not sue"-homer
"movin' my feet so my stomach won't hurt.. I'm kinda like jesus, but not in a sacreligous way.."-homer on hunger strike
"are you comparring yoursdelf to our lord"-magre
"in bowling ability"-homer
"what, are you trying to get yourself killed?"-that actor guy"
"not any more"-homer
"less chat, more splat"-suicidal guy
"if tv has tought me anything, it's that miricals alwas happen to poor kidson chrismas"-bart
"I can't promis I'll try, but I'll try to try" bart
"I've been replace by a cooler!"-moe
"ew.. the plant cut one"-bart
"crap damn fart"-bart
"dislocated shoulder, bump on the noggin'.. my diagnosis (rather nsaty fall, caused by) badbaby sitting"-dr. hibbert
"to think you would make light of the brutal-"_lisa
"fool me ounce, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on woo"-woo
"I han't been that afraid of 3rd graders since 9th grade!"-niles
"that cat's been struttiing around like she owns the place"-bart
"christmas trees for the girls, and bloody spear heads for bart"-marge
"stupid misleading siloute"-homer
"and that talking coyote was just a talking dog... wait a minute, dogs don't talk.. damn straight"-homer
"ow.. my heart"-homer
"africa! there's bound to be food there!"-homer
"ooh! I am the gayet super villan ever!"-homer
"wait.. xena can't fly.."-lisa
"I know I'm supposed to cut something, but what.. and where?"- dr. nick
"Traffic is backed p as far s this rporter can see"-artie pie, arity in the sky
"oh boy! I can't wait till they throw his hatless ass in jail!"-homer
"do you ever think we could be more than just friends?"-millhouse
"thanks, I got it off a blow dryer"-max power
"you might be smart, but you don't know much about not hurting someone's feelings"- homer
"arh! all these cars have been harvested!"-bart
"Finaly, I'll be able to get that hood ornament for reasons I can no longer remember!"-bart
"homer, how would you like to be heavy-weight champion of the world?"-moe
"wait: show us the oompa loompa! (that guy's weird)"-homer
"the fact that I've worn the same clothes day in and day out for the past ten years?"bart (although he sa worn different clothes)
"I fell on my bottom"-bart
"maeh.. I just swept the circle of death"-marge
"there was a time when that was true. but now, I am so much more!"senor dingdong
"I can't complain.."-homer
"I love you because you kill poeple"-ralph
"he wants you to blow your horn"-bart
"Think of what I could do with 2 wives"-homer
"Oh good! you remembered my birthay"-grampa
"why aren't we acending into heaven?"-marge
"no one snuggles with max power; you strap yourself in and FELL THE BURN!"-max power
"the prince of darkness. He's your 9:00"-smithers
"my feet are soaked, but my cuffs are bone dry; everything's comming up millhouse!"-milhouse
"it's webbing is a mesh of comfort.. and evil.."-hammok salesman
"you'd think being blown up by an atomic bomb would kill you, but now we know better"-bart
"I got a 50' tv.. in my shoe closet!"-al ka trazz!


it's qutie a lot, but they're all related to hillarious simpsons moments.

the best one are from the epesode where milhouse becomes fallout boy (which they haven't shown in almost a year)


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.-.. . . . . . . /\\__ . . . . . . . . . . <YO DOG...
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.`'/. //.''''''''// ./''''' . . . . . . dragon venom

Homer: I love Ned flanders!

Lenny: Hey, what'd Homer say?

Karl: I dunno, somethin' about being gay.


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Tell me how he died.

I will tell you how he lived.

Another personal favourite, no idea of the episode... oh wait bart joins the boyscouts thing

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo-hoo!

Tom: Bart Simpson?
Bart: Yes
Tom: Let's ride.
Martin(or Marvin depending on the season): Bart's Dad has really cleaned himself up!



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Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.




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I'm not new... I'm a legend!

Homer: And that's the story of April fools day.
Lisa: Dad, I was telling the story.


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when you're in my house, you'll do as I do, and believe as I believe, not butter your bacon!-homer


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.-.. . . . . . . /\\__ . . . . . . . . . . <YO DOG...
| | . . . . . . /....00\__
.\.\______|. . . . .__()
.|'___. . . . ..-.. . |`-`
.|( . .) . . . .\ .\ . )
.`'/. //.''''''''// ./''''' . . . . . . dragon venom

Homer: Bees are on the what now?
Beekeeper: Simpson you diabolic.


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trying is the first step towards failure -homer-

thats gotta be my favorite