Pads4Life wrote:

God it's been a while since I've posted on this. Let's recap.

Pirates 3 8.5/10 Great move. And I know that most people will disagree BUT WHAT MORE COULD OU FUCKING WANT THAN TWO GUYS BATTELING IN OUT IN A MAELSTROM ON A PIRATE GHOST SHIP WHICH IS ALSO FIRING CANNON BALLS AT ANOTHER SHIP THAT IS ALSO FILLED WITH GHOST PIRATES.

a plot?

also, Stardust was fun to watch not because it was a good movie but because the plot was a lot like a video game plot. The party is running from checkpoint to checkpoint, collecting special items and improving their skills along the way, and then they have to use the skills and items to defeat the boss in the end. it's like they ripped off some final fantasy game or something.

assgoblin wrote:

Pads4Life wrote:

God it's been a while since I've posted on this. Let's recap.

Pirates 3 8.5/10 Great move. And I know that most people will disagree BUT WHAT MORE COULD OU FUCKING WANT THAN TWO GUYS BATTELING IN OUT IN A MAELSTROM ON A PIRATE GHOST SHIP WHICH IS ALSO FIRING CANNON BALLS AT ANOTHER SHIP THAT IS ALSO FILLED WITH GHOST PIRATES.

a plot?

also, Stardust was fun to watch not because it was a good movie but because the plot was a lot like a video game plot. The party is running from checkpoint to checkpoint, collecting special items and improving their skills along the way, and then they have to use the skills and items to defeat the boss in the end. it's like they ripped off some final fantasy game or something.

Well it built on the previous two movies and the character development was pretty much set for everyone except for Barbosa. And he is probably one of the coolest characters I've ever seen.


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tat6789 wrote:

i gave this job to Team because I know he doesn't have a soul.

Thread Revived!

Best Picture Nominees

Atonement- Haven't seen it, probably never will

There Will Be Blood- Want to see it, Daniel Day Lewis is awesome

No Country For Old Men- Great movie, ending is abrupt and kinda confusing, Javier Bardem is creepy as hell and Josh Brolin is back and blowin up.

Michael Clayton- Sooooooooooo Good, George Clooney, Tilda Swinton and Tom Wilkinson all deserve to win awards and the build up to climax is great (that's what she said). It's an awesome Law/Court thriller.

Juno- So annoying, So pretentious, the music is like nails on a chalkboard and everyone talks like a hipster asshole. "Your eggo is preggo," what the fuck is that?


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Mltvcocktail wrote:

the music is like nails on a chalkboard and everyone talks like a hipster asshole.

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Bigger Than Big, Stronger Than Strong

Mltvcocktail wrote:

Juno- So annoying, So pretentious, the music is like nails on a chalkboard and everyone talks like a hipster asshole. "Your eggo is preggo," what the fuck is that?

Totally agree man. I can't believe it has an 8.2 on imdb with 60,774 votes. Does Juno being pregnant really have any significant event on the movie? Not really. Her parents react like whatever *shrugs shoulders, reads paper*, she pukes from time to time but the way her character is it sounds like she'd just do it anyway and she never really becomes connected with the baby. It's something growing inside her yet she just tries to act all cool and like going through a pregnancy and labour is easy as taking a piss.

Michael Cera (Paulie Bleeker) was essentially the same character from Superbad, someone who is quiet etc but he's totally up for fucking one of his close friends who takes his virginity for her sake of boredom. Despite Juno's way, she was meant to be quite intelligent, so how is it that escaped her for a brief period of time? I guess this being some hippy, pretentious bullshit they haven't heard of condoms, morning after pill and abortion. Nope, the first thing that pops into her head is to have the fucking kid and just give it away and not just to anyone, nope, she scans the paper for like 5 seconds and finds the most perfect choice.

So what is this choice? Is it some older, desperate woman and husband who have been trying for like 20+ years? Sadly not. Juno's choice is the always rubbish Jennifer Garner(Vanessa Loring) and Jason Bateman (Mark Loring) who i'm actually not going to knock because he was in Arrested Development, a couple who are in their mid 30s and completely loaded and sort of up their own arses. I'm still not actually quite sure about how Juno came to the conclusion that this was the perfect choice for her unborn child but I guess someone who wanted a child but couldn't have any was a good enough reason for Diablo Cody (the shitty writer).

I've been going on and on about this shitty movie enough so I should probably stop here. If i'm going to watch 1 movie about pregnancy in 2007 and actually laugh, then i'd have to go with Knocked Up. It's better in everyway possible and actually has the pregnancy as a plot progression rather than something that's there but never really focused upon.

Also, go see Cloverfield, it is very good fun. I enjoyed it alot.


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So, anybody seen the trailers for "Never Back Down"? Here it is in case you haven't:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=_JIiXPBm_bE

Is it just me or does anybody else think it's Douchebag Fight Club. If that shit isn't sponsored by Axe body spray I'll eat my hat.


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www.kickassmoviepodcast.com
Discussions about awesome and awesomely bad movies from two guys with too much time on their hands. Also come check out our new and uncensored forum and bonus videos weekly.

Mltvcocktail wrote:

So, anybody seen the trailers for "Never Back Down"? Here it is in case you haven't:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=_JIiXPBm_bE

Is it just me or does anybody else think it's Douchebag Fight Club. If that shit isn't sponsored by Axe body spray I'll eat my hat.

Hah.
If anyone in all seriousness wants to see a cool MMA show. Turn on Fight Quest on Discovery channel. Good show, realistic techniques. It's all good.


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tat6789 wrote:

i gave this job to Team because I know he doesn't have a soul.

I saw a pirate of 'Meet The Spartans' the other day and I feel ripped off even though I just downloaded it, the film was fucking terrible. From the very beginning you can just tell how bad it's going to be with the terrible fucking Shrek gag "Are you my muma cos i'm ready to suckle a teet" *pukes* it doesn't even make much sense and the Scottish accent is god awful. Then you get how he grew up with someone in a terrible penguin costume.

The "THIS IS SPARTA!" joke just went on forever. He kicks the messenger down, then the guards, then Britney Spears (which felt like it would never end), K Fed, some singer guy, then American Idol panel. Who does an American Idol joke in this day and age, it's just so irrelevant when no one cares about that shit any more. But that's a big thing in the movie, it's not the only judge panel joke, there are 2 more after that. It lsts about 3 minutes but my science does it feel like so much longer.

I dunno what else I can go on about this movie really. There's a stupid 'You got Served' part that goes on for 5 minutes, followed by an overly long Bud advert that wouldn't appeal to anyone outside of the U.S. 10 minutes later you get a diss battle similar to the 'You got Served' dance battle, a Rocky reference where they zoom in on his shorts so you know it's Rocky but they don't bother to give you any clue who the gay singer that he kicked into the pit was.

Right at the end there is a GTA spoof but it's just very cringing, then the main bad guy turns into a crappy looking robot with a TV in his chest that shows Youtube and the "Leave Britney alone!" video but he falls over and crushes the spartans and the pile of shit ends of a Lindsay Lohan flashing her vagina joke.

I shouldn't go into reviewing, I just list of crap about each film but with a film like this it is hard not to really as it's just reference after reference(some very old references too) yet retards go to see it and it goes to number 1 at the box office. I just have rage inside me after seeing it, it's just so horrible. Never see this ever, even for free. Even if someone pays you just curb stomp them and take the money. I would say that there is a good thing about this movie but I just can't think of anything so i'll keep this review(of sorts) nice and negative. I'm not even going to give this a score as that means it sort of deserves some kind of rating.


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Thought I'd make a seperate post for this 1.

I'd like to think that I could recommend some recent filsm but I can't. Bank Job was just ok and although it's old in the UK it's only just coming out in the U.S which is Run Fat Boy Run but only if you're into Simon Pegg really. The story is quite sweet but pretty typical and easily foreseeable and the lead female isn't overly stunning or interesting enough to try and get back together with after 5 years which is a main issue I had with the film.

Simon Peggs Dennis character runs out on his wife-to-be on the day of the wedding when she is also pregnant with his child and then the story picks up 5 years after where Dennis now works as a overweight security guard in a underwear shop and his ex-girlfriend Libby owns her own cake shop which is compltely packed out for some reason (mut be some nice cakes I guess). Well here's the issue I have, it's 5 years after and only now does Libby start seeing someone else which gets Dennis motivated to try and win her back. In this time it's pretty much told to us that she hasn't seen anyone else in the time because Dennis only reacted to when her new boyfriend was on the scene but why such a long wait? I just think that she would have started seeing someone else after a while and just not have waited around for 5 years while her vag dries up and collects cobwebs. Same for Dennis, he isn't going regret what he did for such a long period of time either. I'm probably nitpicking abit too much but that's just me.

For me the film is about a 7/10 because i'm a fan of Simon Pegg so i'm probably going to go teh whole way with it but for those who aren't fans may tire of it after abit as the story tends to drag towards the end as the pace slows down and the jokes aren't as frequent.


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*wipes the cobwebs from the forum*

Let's talk summer movies everybody! Name your top 5 movies you are looking forward to this summer.

1. Iron Man
2. Indy 4
3. The Dark Knight
4. Wall-E
5. The Incredible Hulk


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Discussions about awesome and awesomely bad movies from two guys with too much time on their hands. Also come check out our new and uncensored forum and bonus videos weekly.

The forum is dead for the most part but here's some quick views on some films I've seen recently.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the forgettable name:

I didn't go in expecting much and rightfully so. Let's not forget that the Indy movies are like a huge franchise but being the typical Steven Spielburg/George Lucas affair, a trilogy is no longer 3 movies intially but then made into more later on but then really really fuck it up. Now it's not a bad film but its just very average which is a shame because I was hoping for alot more from an Indiana Jones movie. There are some cool scenes but alot of the action comes from chase scenes which gets abit boring after awhile and everything in the movie has been done before which is why i'm dissappointed by it. It didn't really bring anything new to something it started but just carried on with more of the same. I won't ruin the story but i'll just leave it as vry fucking stupid and it really hurt the film for me especially after all of the other things they could've done. 5.6/10

Iron Man:

Possibly one of the best soundtracks to a movie ever so it's worth just seeing it for that What is there to say about Iron Man? Well it's bloody excellent. It follows a movie Batman Begins style of approach to the story so it's a little slower and more character driven but the movie comic book to movie adaptations that do this the better. the humour was sharp and Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark is greatness. The CGI is also really good unlike the film above, so if you haven't seen it yet I'd recomment you do. 8/10

27 Dresses:

Girlfriend wanted to see it so I took her, what to do. Anywho, well thsi vid basically explains it.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=yPOoEOIhwNk

no score just UGH

I am a terrible movie aka I am Legend

Just came out on dvd so thought I'd check it out, got an hour in and.... nothing. Nothing happens within the first hour. That's just terrible by like anything and no I didn't watch any more because I was bored out of my skull. There were just so many shots where the camera was just on Will Smiths face looking like he was taking a huge shit and a part where he's in the dark for like 5 minutes with nothing going on. It starts with that they cure cancer then it cuts to 3 years later or something and New York has been sectioned off from the spread of the virus so it seemed ok at first but nothing gets explained, well certainly not in what I saw. During what I saw the film only indicates that New York is fucked up but a trip over to imdb says that he is the only person left alive whilst 90% of the population are dead and the rest are vampires, well if the film explained any of that instead of leaving me with "So they cured cancer and now everyone is dead?" Well story telling wasn't the films strong point, how about the graphics? O whoops they blow big time. Considering the infected people are meant to just be humans, they sure do look very cartoony and they even used the classic CGI trick where if someone yells their jaw is very very long. Boring/10

The Forbidden Kingdom aka the Jackie Chan/ Jet Li movie

It looked as though Jackie Chans career was down the gutter especially after the terrible Rush Hour 3 and previous Hollywood outings such as Around the World in 80 Days and The Medallion even though he did return to Hong Kong these still didn't match the quality of his early films now it's 2008 and with this being Jackie's only physical role of the year does it sink or swim? Well yes and no really. What's bad about the movie is probably that the story is just so bad and so very 1980s child fantasy movie which is given to the viewer in the form of some white teenager with spots who loves kung fu movies. One night goes to get some films and on his way out some gang approach him and ask him to get them inside so they can steal the money. They try to rob the place but things go wrong as the gang leader shoots the shop owner and gives the mystical staff of the Monkey King to him so he runs off with it, collapses and wakes up in ancient China. The film contines with the typical, try to get home but must do a great deed before you can route. Now onto what was good which should basically be everything else amd for the most part it is. Jackie Chan and Jet Li are great, especially Jet Li as the Monkey King just because he was so powerful. After the explenation as to what happened to the Monkey King, Jet Li shows up as a silent monk who steal the staff which leads to the epic battle and easily the best scene in the movie and it really has to be as fans of both Jackie Chan and Jet Li have been wanting the 2 to fight for years and years and now they get it. There are some great scenes and some good humou provided too so as long as you're a martial arts fan you should enjoy this movie if you can get past the family-friendly storyline. 7.5/10


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Has anyone seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall?
It is freaking awesome.
IF you go...you will find it hard to get up and leave afterwards.
Trust me..it is written fantastically.
It is a chick flick but written from the guys point of view.





Linda

www.attentiontodetailgifts.com
www.letspartnerforresults.com

I'm a guy...I have a point of view...well that saved me $16.


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Bigger Than Big, Stronger Than Strong

Canny believes it's been almost a month since I wrote anything here.

Well onto business, I have only seen 1 movie since the last lot and that is... Sex and the City (my girlfriend want to see it).

There's not really a whole lot you can say about the film to be honest and I'd be crapping myself if this were a professional review as despite the film being 2 1/2 hours long very little actually happens.

The main story itself revolves around Carrie (Sarah-Jessica Parker) trying to cope with life after her and MrBig plan to get married but Mr Big decides that he can't go through with it. The other parts of the film involve the other 3 women of course but their stories aren't very deep or indepth for that matter.

There's the ginger 1s story which is about her and her husband having sexual problems and her husband cheats on her then they break up and then at the end get back toegther. The 1 who has sex all the time is in love with her boyfriend but because he now works all teh time she finds herself wanting more and in the form of her next door neighbour who has sex all the time on the balcony and also has 3sums but in the end she resists him but leaves her boyfriend and the story for the women with the black hair is mostly pointless as she is pregnant and has the kid in the end and I barely remember her in it.

Ok so I've pretty much established that the plot is terrible so does it have anything else to fall back on? Well there are some very funny moments in the film that both women and men can enjoy but it's not exactly smart or witty but more on the gross out side of comedy such as a scene involving someone shitting themselm and another where teh ginger 1 has really long pubic hair the sticks of her bikini but "teh funneh" doesn't last for long as she storms off in a puff and at that point I stopped caring.

There's only 2 likable characters within the film and that's Carrie (you can tell beacuse I remember her name) and the 1 who has sex all the time. The film introduces a new character to the group as the main 4 is usually a 3 or 2 at points but she just seems like a black stereotype and I was surprised I didn't see her eating chicken and watermelon but she is definately more likeable than ol' preggers and ginger pubes.

So in the end who is this movie for? It clearly pleases its audience enough but at 2 1/2 hours, it's alot to ask of even for the biggest fan. Sure they're seeing their fav 4 women on the big screen but the film does so very little within the time and it just feels so very lazy.


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More like sex and the gay.