This a Collection of CU fighting league 1-9. I'm reposting these for the same reason as the pointless moment collection. Please enjoy.
CU Fighting League Collection
Fight 1: Bill Gates v.s. Robocop
pumpkin: Hello ladies and gentle men. Welcome to the
first CU fighting league match ever! I will be your announcer for this evening. Tonight we have dosy of
match for a ya! Tonight it's robocop V.S. Bill gates! The match is now beginning.
Robocop: Your going down gates!
Bill: I don't think so you out dated hunk of junk. Nenenehahahahahaha.
pumpkin: Wow Bill gates just let out a really nerdy laugh, that means he most have some thing up his
sleeve. Here comes the ref.
ref: Ready! Set! FIGHT!
Robocop: Prepare to die bitch!
*Robo takes out his pistol and aims it at Gates*
Bill: Is that all you've got.
*Bill takes out a palm pilot*
Bill: Behold the latest in Microsoft technology! This palm pilot will give me the ability to hack into you
robocop! Face it your done for, This thing has the newest version of windows on it, Windows SOB! That
stands for Super Optical Browser!
Robo: No! You can't hack into me! That's not fair!
*Bill starts to use his palm pilot*
Bill: Now robo, I'm only one press away for victory!
*Bill presses the button*
Bill: what's this! It crashed! Oh no the blue screen of death! What it say windows drivers needed! That's
impossible I already have all the needed drivers!
Robo: Sorry Bill your finished!
*Robocop shoots bill and he fall to the ground bleeding*
Ref: Bill Gates is down! The winner is Robocop!
*Medics come and take Gates away*
Bill: I'm get you next time Robo! Next time!
*Robocop starts to dance the robot*
Pumpkin: Well there you have it fokes! Robocop has beaten Bill Gates in sudden turn in the tide of the
battle. well that's all, Good night!
Fight 2: LTJ v.s. MC Hammer
(I would just like to make some thing clear, the fighting matches in the stories are held on a martial arts
arena not in a wrestling ring. There always in that kind of arena unless stated other wise. I'm telling you
this so you can have a better idea what the fight looks like)
Pumpkin: Hello ladies and gentlemen! Tonight we have a great match for you! MC Hammer V.S. the
master of super soakers Less Than Jaked!!!!!!
(Down on LTJ side of the arena he's talking to his manager professor soaker.)
Prof.Soaker: LTJ my boy we have a problem!
LTJ: What is it doc?
Prof: Well I took the wrong bag with me when I left the lab so I didn't bring the right weapons! The bag I
took only had an XP 50!
LTJ: GOOD GOD! That's one of the first super soakers! It's far to weak!
prof: Don't worry I send your trainer Sergeant soaker to get the right bag! He will be here in 7 minutes.
LTJ: But the match is starting now!
Ref: Fighters to your positions! Fighters Ready! Fight!
MC Hammer: Your mine water gun boy!
LTJ: Oh ya! Eat this!
(LTJ shoots a stream of water from his XP 50, But MC Hammer starts spinning around really fast and
deflects the stream.)
Prof: GOOD GOD!!!!!! He deflected it!
LTJ: Oh no!
MC: Your no match for my mad dancing skills boy.
(MC Starts dancing towards LTJ. LTJ then runs at him and trys to hit MC this his super soaker but MC
quickly moves out of the way and trips LTJ and starts to dance on his back)
LTJ: AHHHH!
Pumpkin: My lord! LTJ is being danced on and is unable to do any thing! MC Hammer is just sock'n it to
him. I don't think LTJ will be able to take it for much longer.
(LTJ quickly pushes him self up and causes MC to fall off his back. MC then quickly gets back up as LTJ
starts throwing punches at him. MC quickly uses his dancing skills to douge each punch. MC then
Quickly kicks LTJ him the stomach and unleashes a massive barrage of punches on LTJ face)
prof: LTJ!!!!
LTJ: Man he's to good! I don't think I can beat him?
Sgt. Soaker: I don't you dare give up you weakling! Don't you remember what I taught you, and why are
you using the weak out of date super soaker! Here take this one!
(Stg.Soaker throws a new super soaker to LTJ)
prof: It's about time you got here sergeant!
LTJ: YA! An CPS 3000! Now were talking!
Sgt.Soaker: Remember son! Wetter is better!
LTJ: Now your finished MC Hammer!
MC Hammer: I don't think so! You may got a new gun, but I?m still better than you! I'm just deflect it!
LTJ: I don't think so the CPS 300 has a special mode! the impractical typhoon blast!
(LTJ Switchs it the that mode and lets it rip. MC spins around like before but the massive stream of water
is too powerful to deflect and he is sent flying form the arean!
Ref: MC Hammer is out! The winner is LTJ!!!!!!
LTJ: YAAAA! Wetter Is Better!!!!!!!
Pumpkin: Well there you have it fokes! Now tune in for next weeks match were it's Sacklunch V.S. Nish!
Fight 3: Sack v.s. Nish
Pumpkin: Hello and welcome to the 3rd match of the CU fighting league! Tonight we have great match
for you! tonight it's sacklunch the super ninja V.S. nerf master nish.
Nish: prepare to feel the sting of my nerf guns!
sack: Ummm nish, yo do know that nerf guns shoot foume missles right?
nish: Of course I do!
sack: and you know that foume missles wont hurt me!
nish: well just pretent they do, after all this fight is fake!
sack: Ummm nish that's the WWF that's fake, The CU fighting league 100% real.
nish: ....................................................funk.
ref: Ready, set, fight!
*nish Quickly fires several nerf missles at sack in desperation but they just bounce of sack's chest*
nish: I'll have to use my most powerful gun! This nerf gun can fire 20 nerf bullets in 10 secs, then you
have to reload!
*Nish fires it a sack but once agian they just bouce of his chest*
nish: Well had enough!?
sack: Nish come on, I know you can do better than this! Befor I enter the league I spent 3 months training
my self in the ninja arts. I spend it all in the middle of the wilderness with nothing but the cloths on my
back and book about ninjitsue. But I heard that you spend 7 months training with personal trainer before
you entered the league, you should be able to put up a better fight than this.
nish: that's right! It did spend all that time training!
*suddenly nish's trainer walks up*
trainer: Ummm nish I hate to remind you but 50% of the time we were training we were actually getting
piss drunk while watching episodes of jerry springer! 25% of the time we were too drunk to do any thing,
15% of the time we spent dropping empty bottles of wiskey on to car going under a over pass, and 10% I
trained you how to use the nerf gun.
nish: Hmmmm that's ood, I only seem to remember the training with the nerf gun!
trainer: that's because you were so drunk.
nish: makes sence.
Sack: That's it I've heard enough! It's nunchaku time!
*sack rushes nish and starts to beat him with nunchakus*
nish: That's not fair! You have an actual weapon!
*Suddenly both nish and sack are crushed by a player piano playing saloon music that fell form the sky*
pumpkin: It appears they Have been kill!
*suddenly the piano is push over, and nish and sack get up badly injured*
Sack: were okay people!
*Suddenly another player piano playing saloon music lands on both sack and nish*
ref: They are both down! It's a tie!
*The medics run in take sack and nish the to hospital*
some loud fat guy with a big foume hat and a blow horn: What! A tie! what a rip! Let's trash this place!
*The fat guy starts a riot in the stands*
Pumpkin: Well there you have it! it's a tie! But one question remains, were it those player pianos come
form.
*mean while across town at roy's piano shop*
worker: I told you this catapult delievery systam wouldn't work!
Roy: I know! but a man can dream can't he?
*back in the annoucer booth*
pumpkin: well tune in for next weeks matchs wear it's duke V.S. the 70's batman!
Fight 4: Duke v.s. the 70?s batman
Pumpkin: Well It's time once agian to for another match. Tonight it's duke V.S the 70's batman!
Duke: Prepare to taste cold steal you wasted up hack!
Batman: let's get him old chum!
Burt ward: God damn it adam leave me out of this, I'm watching the fight from the stands and that's all!
Batman: Well it looks like I'm on my own.
Duke: Shut up and eat mace!
*Duke charged forward with great speed with his mace in his right hand but batman quickly wipped out
his Batorang and threw and it knocked the mace from duke hand*
Duke: How the hell was that cheap piece of plastic able to do that?
batman: My turn!
*Batman dash forwared and began to beat duke*
*Thwap*
*Smash*
*Wipe*
*Thiot*
*Wamm*
*tam*
*crack*
Batman: Crap the last one was my back!
Duke: Then it's time to make you pay for what you just did to me!
*duke jumps back to other side of the arean and uses his most powerful magic attack, the legendary "Huge
Ass Beam!" The blast quickly flew toward adam but for some reason it deflected back duke*
Duke: What the hell?
*The blast leaves duke badly injured and with out any armor*
Duke: How did you do that?
batman: I used my Anti-magic beam reversal spray!
Duke: how the hell did you get that stuff let alone fit in your belt?
Batman: Times up duke how I'm going to put you away where you belong! Jail!
Duke: batman I'm not super villen. I'm fighting you in match. If I lose I'm not going to goto jail.
batman: non the less let's finish this!
*Batman is about to finish duke when his back gose out agian and he falls to the ground unable to move.
ref: I declare duke the winner!
Duke: hot damn!
*in the crowed*
burt ward: I knew that he would lose some way or another
Sack: lucky bastered he didn't get crushed by player piano.
nish: Yaaa.
Pumkin: Well there you have it fokes, tune if for next week match when it's super mario V.S. Ass goblin
Fight 5: Supermario v.s. Assgoblin
pumpkin: Well people that match between super mario and assgoblin is now starting. Who will win? The
legendary super mario or a goblin with a big butt?
ref: Fight!
Mario: Hey Pizono! Your going down!
Killergoblin: No your going down you litalian stereotype!
Lugie: Go mario! You can do it!
Lugie thinking to him self: I hope you slip and fall on his sword you fat bastered!
goblin: Be for I attack you though I'm going to shake my big booty in a song and dance.
Goblin starts to sing and dance: I'm a goblin with a big butt! I don't sit around in a rought! When you
make fun of me I'll give you cut! then I....
Mario: God damn it shutup!
*mario runs over to him and punchs him. Goblin punchs mario back then takes out his knife and slashs at
mario. Mario jumps up in the air and lands on goblin.*
Goblin: good damn it that hurt! Your going down!
*goblin takes out colt but mario then quickly takes out a fire flowers and shots fire that melts the gun.*
goblin: Damn it! That was my last weapon!
Mario: Die bitch!
*Then jumps in the air agian but this time lands even harder on goblin knocking him out*
ref: Mario wins!
mario: It's a me! Mario!
lugie: YAAAAAAA!
lugie thinking to him self: Got damn it! The chubby cunt is still alive! Damn goblin you think he could
have killed out old fat plumber, but no.
pumpkin: there you have it ladies and gentalmen. Tune in for nexts weeks match. The combatns have not
be picked yet so it will be a surprize.
Fight 6: Sack v.s. Gilbert Godfree
Pumpkin: Hello every body a welcome to match 6. It's between super ninja sacklunch and gilbert godfree.
sack: This should be easy enough, he dosen't even have any weapons!
(mean while in the crowed Super soaker LTJ and Nerf Master nish are sitting beside each)
Nish: Sack one day we will have rematch and I will win?
(Suddenly let's off a huge fart)
LTJ: OOPS! Sorry!
nish: Can't breath!
Ref: Fight!
Sack: Your going down godfree!
gilbert: I don't think so! I know alot of powerful people! Even though most of them hate me, I'm sure there
cheering for me! Any way this kinda reminds me of the time I did that saved by the bell movie. You know
the one were they go to vegas and get married!
sack: MY GOD HE'S SO ANNOYING! He's so annoying it's painfull, and it's so painful that his
relentless banter his causing me to be paralised with pain! I can move!
Nish: My god!Sack can't beat him! This can't be! I shall be the only one to beat sack!
LTJ: Man sack how can you let that wuss win?
(Suddenly godfree stops talking to breath)
Sack: This is my chance!
(Sack with great speed runs up kicks Gilbert out of the ring)
Ref: Gilbert is out! Sack Wins!
Sack: YAAAAA!
Pumpkin: well fokes tune in for next weeks match when it's nish V.S. LTJ!
Nish: MY god! I'm going to be facing you next!
LTJ: Ya! This means your to lose next week.
Nish: ya.......... Hey wait a minute!
THE END!
Fight 7: Nish v.s. LTJ
pumpkin: Welcome to CU fight leauge! Todays match LTJ V.S. Nish!
ref: Fight!
LTJ: Time to fell the power of the super soaker!
Nish: It's nerf or nothing bitch!
*Nish fires a nerf missle at LTJ put LTJ blasts it away with his super soaker!*
nish: Awww crap!
*LTJ unleashes a huge blast of water at nish and nish starts running around screaming*
Nish: Damn it what can I do!
nish's coach: Remember what you learned while training!
Nish: We never really trained. We just sat around and got piss drunk!
Nish's coach: Oh ya!
LTJ: Stop running and fight nish!
nish: Noooo! I don't wanna!
LTJ: Go damn it!
*While running in terror with his arms waving nish by misstake throws up his nerf gun. The nerf gun
goes flying and by utter luck hits LTJ on the head and knocks him out.*
Ref: Nish wins!
Nish: I did! Sweet!
*in the stands sack and duke are watching*
Sack: What the hell?
Duke: I second that what the hell!
pumpkin: Well That's all for todays match see next time!
Fight 8: Can_it_da v.s. Patton (this on is my personal favorite)
pumpkin: Welcome to tonights match! Tonight it's match is between can_it_da and Patton. Let's see
which one of these titans will win, In this grand battle of power and skill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Campbell spokesman: Clam down the only reason to get excited is about campbell's new line of soups!
pumpkin: Who who the hell are you?
CS: I'm a spokes man for campbell's soup, tonight are hero can_it_da will use the power and great taste of
campbell's soup to crush his enemy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pumpkin: Okay............ Hey look Patton has entered the arena! but where's can_it_da? Oh here he is
and.......................... What in blazing hell is he wearing?
*Can_it_da walks in wear armour shaped like a can of soup, and he can berrly move in it.
can: This armour sucks!
CS: NO IT DOSEN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT HAS POWER OF CAMPBELL'S SOUP IN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW
DARE YOU INSULT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now come get your weapons.
*After a long puase Can_it_da went and got his weapons*
Can: What's this? It's a can on string.
CS: That's your Campbell's soup mace!
Can: what's this weird looking thing?
CS: That's you can gun, but it dosen't work.
Can: What do you mean? How can I fight with a can on string, a gun that dose not work, and armour I
can berrly move in!!!!!!!!!
CS: Well you see the Campbell's soup R&D department is really only knows how to make soup, not
weapons. But who cares!!!!!! You have the power of Campbell's soup so you will win! Now go get him!
*Can_it_da walks into the arena, but he trips and falls over and is unable to get up because his crappy can
armour makes it so he can't*
Can: AWWWWWWWWW CRAP!!!!!!
Patton: God damn it son! Your just to pathetic! I'm not going waste my time fight you! I forfit the match. I
have to much self respect to fight you in that thing.
ref: can_it_da wins!
CS: THE POWER OF CAMPBELLS SOUP WINS!!!!!!!! Put up the banners boys.
*some men start putting up banner around the arena that say "Campbell's soup, It's mmm good."*
pumpkin: Hey you can't do that! You can put up banners with out paying us for the right to put them up in our arena.
CS: Try and stop me!
pumpkin: security!!!!!!!!
*an 80 year old man runs in with a stick but has heart attack and dies.*
pumpkin: Oh fuck! Can_it_da get him to stop!
Can: I still can't even get up! How the hell I'm I going to get him to stop?
pumpkin: Good point!
CS: no one can stop me!
*Patton walks up punch's The Campbell's spokesman and shoots the men putting up the banners*
pumpkin: Nice work! Hey now that postions free, why don't you become head of security here. It pays a lot
of money and all you do is sit on your ass and you get to shoot people if they interfer with the match.
Patton: As long as it means I no longer have to be in matchs with morons in screwed up costums, It's a
deal.
pumpkin: Deal! Well fokes that's all for today! Tune in next week for are next match!
THE END!!!!!!!!
Can: Hey wait I still can't get up! Some one help me please! Come on! Damn it, I really can't get up!
Come on some one help me!
Fight 9: Mr.T v.s. Duke
pumpkin: Welcome to tonight?s match! It's Duke V.S. Mr.T! Who will win? Let's see!
Duke: I shall slay the!
Mr.T: What are you talking about foo?!
Duke: I'm talking about me beating you!
Mr.T: enough of this jibba jabba, Your going down!
*Mr.T run over and punches right through dukes shield, and Duke goes flying
Mr.T: had enough foo?
Duke: Is that all you got!
*Duke runs forward and slashes his sword at Mr.T but it breaks of on his gold chains*
Duke: No!
Mr.T: Time to finish you foo!
suddenly a player piano lands of Mr.T*
ref: Duke wins!
Duke: Wah? How? I'm not going to even ask?
Richard simions: Good work duke! Want to come home with me?
Duke: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
*Duke runs out of the arena being chased by Richard simions*
Pumpkin: Patton your in charge of security, why did you not stop simions?
Potton: Hey even I'm afraid to go near that guy.
pumpkin: Well there you have it fokes. see you next week!
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