How did you get so awesome?Excellent question!
Now, this is actually a tough subject to talk about, but believe it or not, I wasn't always this awesome. It's true.
As a young boy I would be pushed around and picked on constantly by bullies and my parents. There was even a point in time when the bullies and my parents were working together to try and get me.
My parents would ask about my deepest fears and stuff, and then go tell the bully and he'd use that against me. My parents thought it would make me tougher...but my parents were also idiots.
This sort of behavior went on through highschool and into college, but one day, I came across the most awesome person I'd ever seen. His name was Arthur Fonzarelli.
I tried to write and call him everyday, but I kept getting the run around by some guy named Mr. Winkler. He'd say he was just a TV character and that he wasn't real, and to stop sending naked photos of myself to him.......What? Don't judge me.
At that point I knew what I had to do in order to meet The Fonz.....Find Henry Winkler and beat the piss out of him.
When Henry got out of his coma, and I made parole, we met again, this time on much friendlier terms. I hit him with my car. He only broke 2 of his legs and his back, arms and face, but still made a complete recovery.
After a few years of court battles and me almost murdering 2 prison gaurds and a judge. We came to a settlement. I had to stay at least 4 states away from Winkler and in return I was given the real leather jacket worn by Fonzie himself!!!
I couldn't believe it finally happened...With this jacket, I became awesome!
But it turned out that the jacket didn't fit so I sold it on eBay.
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